i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
