I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i've created a new STD.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize