Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
