Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
50% drunk capacity currently
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
