I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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