took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
