I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
