it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
