Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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