I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
