How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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