Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm too high and old for this...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
