i can't believe i had my finger in that
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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