Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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