Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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