Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Let's paint friendship bongs
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
