If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
honey bunches of taint.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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