singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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