That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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