Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
