if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
