What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
