My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
