Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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