she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
