those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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