see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
