If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
