I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
