I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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