in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
