sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, beer. Big fan.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize