billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
