I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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