whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cannot find my penis.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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