I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
