Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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