they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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