So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
