It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
