I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize