we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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