party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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