I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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