im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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