If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
