Whod you bang
Please, let me fuck your mom
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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