Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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