i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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