found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
