Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
