She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
