i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
