how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize