Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
