Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
