White coat. Heels.
nut hugger
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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