I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
