If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
