normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
