It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
