This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
