Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My feet surprised me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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